Forniphilia: the art of human furniture

forni- f. Old French furnir f.
Roman, fornire; to furnish -philia f.
Greek philos; love of, fondness for


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1. What is forniphilia?
2. What are some known forniphilic creations?
3. How do I find such a woman?
4. How do I get my wife interested? I love bondage but she doesn't want to know.
5. How long can a woman be left as an item of furniture?
6. What safety precautions should be taken in the design and production of human furniture?
7. Where can I discuss forniphilia with others?
8. My girlfriend has claustrophobia, but likes bondage, and wants to try forniphilia type bondage. How can I work around that?
9. What are the best type of gags, and how long can they be left on?
10. What sort of padding is best for these furniture items? 11. How may I contribute to this FAQ?12.
About this FAQ.

One description, I would say, is the ultimate in artistic expression. Over the centuries, mere mortal man, artists and sculptures of renown, have struggled to capture the essence of femininity in various inanimate and inadequate mediums of paint, stone, plaster-of-paris, bronze, and a host of other organic materials.

Whilst they came close, none really managed to portray that indefinable something that is womanhood; a mystical state-of-the-art life form that guards its secrets jealously. In my opinion, they never will. They were using the wrong materials.

I on the other hand, whilst not possessing the same magnificent skills in handcrafting as these old masters; I chose to use the ultimate material. "Woman" The most erotic and exciting material on this planet. The trick is to find some material that is not hostile, endowed with a volatile temper, or downright hazardous to your health.

A second description of forniphilia would be man's desire to render a powerful and dangerous adversary to the role of utility item.

Make no mistake, women are a dangerous species. Thus by relegating her to an item of furniture that can be used and enjoyed at leisure and in complete safety we can achieve that goal. It is in man's nature to conquer and control, and in this respect the female of our species probably represents the only adversary he has never managed to subdue. OK, we win the odd battle, and if we were to use physical strength we can overcome them. But we never truly win. Reduce a woman to a usable object and she becomes so damned sexually alluring that she has you by the balls so to speak. What the hell. Try sitting on a human female chair, with a human female table, and a human female foot stool, and you really stop caring about the battle of the sexes. In fact, you don't really give a shit how much hassle about jobs around the house they are going to give you when they get free, as even a few moments of illusory control are worth the mundane things in life.

Masterpieces of the forniphilics craft include: ·
Chandeliers ·
Tables of all sorts and descriptions
Lamps
Pedestals
Office Chairs
Rocking Chairs
Footstools
Ceiling decorations.
Lawn Sprinklers
Bird Tables
Bedside table/lamps

You don't! They find you most of the time. Initially you will have to search out some so as to build a reputation for being honourable, safe, and respectful. Submissive female sexual partners are not necessarily whimps and easy conquests in real life. I have found the vast majority to be highly intelligent, self- assured, strong willed, and very astute.

Now finding and wooing such a woman may seem a tall order, but truth be known, it isn't. There are many pre-sculpted, sensuously animated female blocks of raw material that just love the idea of being sculpted by various forms of tight bondage.

Often men just go blundering in with the assumption that what turns them on, will surely turn the woman on. Well sorry to disappoint you guys, but if she doesn't like bondage, the chances are she never will. Bondage is a fantasy that seems to be there from birth. I have yet to meet a woman who has never had any fantasy of bondage, who eventually got into the scene and enjoyed it. They either have it or they don't. Some may profess to enjoy it for the sake of pleasing a mate they want to be with, but often I have talked to ladies who confessed to that in private. Fortunately they were only a few, and generally their male partner was extremely good to them on all other counts, so a little discomfort seemed to be acceptable to them for the returns.

A true bondage-loving lady is easy to separate from the actors. They will come to you and travel great distances without any form of coercion once the word goes out that you are a genuine safe player. They love the attention, and they thrive on the power it gives them over their male counterparts. You just have to treat them with the respect they deserve, prove to them that you are safe, consensual, and care about their well being ,and they will begin to emerge from beneath that protective female barrier; a barrier that unfortunately, we men created in our blundering and often crass approach. Once your sincerity and honesty is proven in their minds, women quickly demonstrate that far from being the less sexually oriented, they are in fact in class that leaves male sexuality in the dust.